Mermaid Ponds is the place I come back over and over, even in my shamanic journeys. It is a magical place, a place of rejuvenation. This pond holds me and embrace me in ways few places do. I’m so grateful for I can go there anytime I want. It is close home and it is close to my heart.
I traveled to this place in a workshop on “Shamanic Journeys” I took with Hank Wesselman. The water rose and transformed into the Great Mother as she invited me to go in. As soon as I did, I realized the water was not as fluid. It was thick and wouldn’t let me in. I tried and tried, many times, so many times with no success.
Soon I realized what I was re-living: My Birth Trauma.
Trying so many times to get through the thick waters through a canal, the birth canal… to finally being birthed by a cut in the belly, a cesarean. I felt so unsupported… by doctors, by my surroundings, by my mother… even though she was following the doctors advice and doing her best for HOURS! She wanted so bad to give birth to me in a natural way… but the drugs, her young naive spirit and the pressure was too much…. and my wound for being “not supported” was born.
Tears were running through my face, while I was awakening to the root of my wound.
And Mother Maria was there with me, all the time. So much that when I was born, the doctor asked my mother what my name was to be. Even though she had consciously chosen “Carolina” or “Gladybel” previous to this moment in time, she said, with no doubt in her spirit “MARIA”. The doctor asked “Maria what??” … she responded “Just MARIA”. She says that the Mother Mary’s presence was with with her at all times through the birth process.
What an honor to carry her name. What an honor to remember how supported I was at that moment. Supported by the mother of all, Mother Mary.
When growing up as a teeneger, I remember not liking my name. So many “marias” out there. I felt un-original… and as a teenager, that’s the worst you can feel. You want uniqueness, you are searching for your identity.
One day, while working in a Spa in California, someone asked me my name. When I said ” Maria”, she replied “wow! What an honor to carry with you the “Mother’s” name” … and that was an Ahaaa moment. That’s when it all started to stir up to the waters of gratitude.
I’m grateful for this healing journey of mine.
I am supported.
I am supported by the Holy Spirit
I am supported by God.
I am supported by the Great Mother.
I am supported by my own strong spirit.
Aho, Amen, Ashe.