38th B-day – Flying over the lava

It’s been a ritual of mine for a few years now to do something “I’ve never done before” to celebrate my birthday…always something “expansive”.. Well, actually, this ritual has been going on ever since I was born (I just realized as I write these words) as that day, on May 13th at 5:51pm. I did something totally new and different! I came to this world !

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I love this planet.. God I do. I came to see it! to see as much as I can.. to taste it, to experience it..

Although unintentional and unconscious, it has also become a ritual of mine to go to deep dark places of my psyche the night before my birth day. I set the intention for ease.. but man I go deep and dark so quick and unexpected.. it’s like all my shadows come out and party that night! This time was different though… I was very aware that I was intentionally trying to hurt myself.. with old memories and stories of hatred.. undeserving tones and different shades of yuckiness.

It was intense, as usual… horrific and at the same time… beautiful.

I must say that am blessed with the most amazing partner ever… a man who hold space for me with SO MUCH LOVE, patience, with the eyes of God. Often times, being in his presence feels like being in the presence of God itself. My heart is humble by his forgiveness, his unconditional love.. so healing indeed.

I see the movies in my head, my stories.. and I pray so that I’m more aware each day, each minute .. so that I’m able to see it all from high above..and not hurt and get caught up in re-creating it all in my mind..

I love this life! I’m IN love with this life with ALL its darkness and its light, with ALL the feelings, ALL inclusive, even when I said I don’t.. even when I say I don’t…

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My wish this year, different from other times, was to celebrate simple. I wanted to make a glass piece with my husband and be home. We had the sweetest day all day. He gifted me with a gorgeous necklace made by our friend, Stone.. got some organic amazing wine and yummy chocolate.

We made a beautiful glass piece for the kitchen (I gather liquid glass for the first time!) ! We watched a movie and snuggled ever so good.

The next day, I was blessed with the effortless manifestation of my “every year ritual”, without even planning it! to experience something special, something I’ve never done before. Oh God loves me! ..

Daniel got it all set up. I woke up at 5am and drove to the airport in Hilo and hopped into a helicopter to see the lava flow from high above.. wasn’t that what I prayed for? To see it all from high above.. the destruction, the creation, all one and the same.

The helicopter had no doors. For some time, it was freezing and rainy but hey! if it wasn’t for the rain, we wouldn’t had such gorgeous rainbow. Mick Kalber was there with me, filming the lava update. He made this possible for me to do at a very fair rate.

I’m forever grateful for this opportunity. A gift that came so easy, orchestrated by the divine. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

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Here is the video that Mick Kalber took that morning:

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Light of Love by Jai-Jagdeesh

Audio Player:


I will climb into your ocean, I will sail into your shore,
I will breathe in your magnificence, and never ask for more,
I will be as I am written, courage on every page,
I will carve this life with every breath, a sage to the age,
I will turn up the fountain, and fill this world with bliss,
I will sing a song of joyful love and merge into your kiss,
And I will stumble into beauty, recognizing that it’s me,
I will open up my heart, and surrender unto thee

I am the child, I am the mother
I am your bride, and your lover
I am everything, great and small
I am the one, I am it all (x2)

I Am
The Light
Of Love (x4)

I will dive into each moment, because I’ll die as I was born
I will walk at peace with ease and grace, and float with the unknown
I will find the gift in everything, perfection in every way
I will bow at the altar, of this and every day
I can’t promise not to feel some fear, or to always understand
But I’ll be the change I wish to see, I will hold every hand
I am tangled up in beauty, I see clearly that it’s me
I have opened up my heart, and surrender unto thee

I am the child, I am the mother
I am your bride, and your lover
I am everything, great and small
I am the one, I am it all (x2)

I Am
The Light
Of Love (x4)

2 comments

  1. carmen

    Que monton de emociones de mueven dentro de mi corazon y mi alma…veo en tus ojos y por tu mirada observo los mejores lugares que Dios te ha obsequiado….te amo intensamente ¡¡¡

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